In 2015, I finally got a hysterectomy. I requested to keep my uterus because I thought it would look cool and promised my surgeon a photo shoot, Flat Stanley style. Years later, I fulfilled that promise, and since it was so delayed, I really went all out. I made outfits, skates, a blanket, a pillow, and more for my uterus, who I named Crampus, and I photographed us having a great time out and about. I sent him the following zine and didn’t hear back. You can’t win them all.