Weekly feature by: KG Newman

When entitled hooligans of Nazareth
tricked trusting ten-year-old Jesus
into eating a weed brownie
so potent he fell into
a prolonged comatose state
and crippled the plot
of the bestselling novel
of all time by neither
being able to walk on water
nor turn water into wine,
the townspeople became
very irate and in particular
the vintners were merlot-faced
and short-changed and sought
vengeance on those meddling teens
by torching their hemp fields
and enlisting thugs
to break up their late-night
streetlight smoke sessions while
the Nazarene dreamed in peace
to hymns for a different messiah.


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