Weekly feature by: Alexis Danner
Take [fully consenting victim],
To be your wedded and bedded partner,
And to live despondently together in heartache?
Do you promise to gradually grow to resent them,
Despise your mother-in-law,
Abuse them and use them for better (or more likely worse),
For richer, but as it will of course turn out, poorer,
In physical and indigent mental health,
And forsaking all others,
Be faithful to only them (and your boss/secretary),
Until divorce do you part?