Saggy Tits

By: Chris Talbot-Heindl

Coding websites properly is thankless work. Seriously, no one cares or notices when you do it right. Every minutia is the difference between creating a beautiful and functional website or making yourself look like a total noob. Ten years experience and trial and error taught me that nugget. I didn’t go to school for coding or web design – I figured that my experience would count for something and I wanted to learn something that I couldn’t teach myself using the Interwebs and Youtube tutorials.

I’m currently balls deep in my third major job search since I graduated with a BFA in Art instead of a BA or BS in Computer Information Systems or Web and Digital Media Development. It’s been a trying experience to say the least.

Yesterday, I had an interview with an employment agency that showed more interest in my experience and 10-page-long curriculum vitae than any employer in my field has. The agency promises to be more fruitful that all of my careful research, application, interviewing, and follow-ups that I do meticulously and by the book.

Upon returning home from the interview, I saw something in my Facebook newsfeed that brought out the snark.

*Snark*

A post from my alma mater, touting their brand new department homepage, featured a picture of me bralessly mixing paint; a picture probably taken seven years ago.

I know that no is at fault for my bralessness but my laundry habits and me. However, someone is at fault that the photograph is used to advertise the Art and Design Department at all. I don’t know how saggy tits make anyone want to enroll. If it does, more power to them (the tits and the decision-makers who used the photo).

I’m not sure how the picture made any sort of cut at all. To my BFA-trained-eye, it only seems to advertise that the Art Department doesn’t care about little things like composition (the subject matter is completely centered in the frame) or meaning (all indications that this is a picture of me painting didn’t make the crop cut).

Someone is at fault that the photograph is used to advertise the Art and Design Department seven years after it was taken. And it is someone’s fault that a seven-year-old picture is being used for an article that purports a new look. It’s one of those pesky details in website design –setting the featured image. That’s important, if not entirely exciting.

Of course, if I had been employed to do the website, what with my BFA degree, photography experience, Photoshop prowess, and ability and know-how to update the featured image by coding properly, that wouldn’t have happened on my watch. But, as it so happens, I’m not employed with that job or any other.

Ignoring that little mishap, let’s take a closer look at this revamp, shall we? The tag line of the article itself reads, “Regardless of what you want to do after graduation, the University of Wisconsin – Stevens Point Department of Art and Design can help you get there.”

Snark.

So, a seven-year-old picture of a BFA graduate with 10 years work experience who has struggled to find work and is currently unemployed is being used to advertise that your BFA can take you where you want to go. Well, I for one don’t remember wanting to be unemployed and told that I am not qualified for jobs that I did before I went back to school to get my useless BFA degree.

My BFA degree got me $40,000 in student loan debt and an apparently immortalized photograph of my saggy tits in my Facebook newsfeed. You know, just shy of where I wanted to be.


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