Chris Critiques: Holiday Inventors

Holiday Inventors

Critique and illustration by: Chris Talbot-Heindl

Some awesome lady I’ve never met who works at my workplace sends out a daily email to all the little minions who work there. This email contains a nugget of absolute joy: a list of crazy holidays associated with that day.

Thursday was National Mew Year for Cats Day AND National Science Fiction Day, so I did promise all of my coworkers a masterful piece to commemorate the Day (which I have unofficially dubbed Chris Talbot-Heindl Day in light of both holidays being totally me); hence the illustration. (50 dork points for whoever can name the two ships and Internet-famous cats depicted).

But this critique goes out as a ginormous salute to those who invent and follow through on these wonderful holidays. As I have discovered, this process is no easy feat.

A national holiday is literally an act of Congress, and as we’ve seen this year, it is quite difficult to get Congress to do much of anything – including balancing a check book and passing a budget that they will spend the next year completely disregarding.

The first step if you want to make your own holiday is to contact your local congressperson. Once you have their attention – maybe by dangling bribes or pant suits in front of them – you create a proposal and hopefully it will eventually get onto the congressional agenda some day before you die of old age.

Some holiday inventors have learned to circumvent all this hoopla and go directly to the people who make or break holidays – the greeting card makers. If you can capture those who would make a buttload of money on your idea, they can use their big money, corporate interest, lobbying abilities to make that shit just happen.

This, to me, makes it all the more amazing that National Mew Year for Cats and National Science Fiction Day exists.

I salute you, oh maker of such holidays for either having the patience and fortitude of a saint or for convincing a greeting card company that they could make money selling Star Trek themed National Science Fiction Day cards. Either way, you are a genius and have made my day.