Irate Inconsolables

Critique and illustration by: Chris Talbot-Heindl

In my job, I deal with a lot of irate inconsolables – people who think that their problems are the worst problems ever, and that I’m so insidious that I’ve purposely spent my time thwarting a solution.

Often, their problems are what I would consider “white people problems.” This is not meant to be insulting to white people, as of course, I am half that; more so, it is a rejection of the term “1st world problems” when people mean privileged. It ignores the fact that not all people living in the first world receive the same privileges.

What are “white people problems?” At my work place, a white person problem is an irate inconsolable calling in who can’t find a specific brand of watch and needs assistance in the matter. They are angry that they didn’t find it themselves. They are angry that it may take me some time to call all the locations in their area to try and find it for them. They make comments like, “I don’t want to waste my Thanksgiving night looking for this myself.” When I explain that I haven’t found that particular watch for them on Thanksgiving night because all the stores in their area have sold out during the rush, they believe that I am purposely ruining their life.

All the while, I’m also trying to help people who have real problems – broken down cars in the middle of Nowhere, USA with a wind chill of -40. These people aren’t irate inconsolables, oddly enough. They are grateful for whatever.

Irate inconsolables have only a few times graced the presence of The Bitchin’ Kitsch. That sort of energy usually doesn’t gravitate toward a zine so entirely epic and amazing. But it has happened. But it usually does happen in private.

Someone thinks we’ve conspired against him or her to purposely not print their piece that was accepted with caveats (that they usually never responded to); someone thinks we’ve conspired to ignore their submission (which usually they never sent); someone thinks we’ve printed their piece wrong (which is usually our fault).

We do what we can swiftly because we care and we were indeed, never conspiring to do anything except bring artwork and writing to the forefront and honor those who make it.

In my job, when I run into a snag, I have at the least, nine other people to help me figure out a solution to an impossible problem, although, usually with an irate inconsolable, I don’t bother – no solution will help, and I don’t want to pull more people from more dire, more important cases.

In The Bitchin’ Kitsch, the solution comes from me.

That means that when I’m at work, earning the money needed to support The Bitchin’ Kitsch, I’m unable to address issues that people have, whether they be legitimate, a misunderstanding, or from an irate inconsolable.

If you believe that we are making a mistake, please don’t be an irate inconsolable. Don’t litter our social media pages with accusations, vitriol, and anger. It ruins everyone’s experience. Send us a private message or email with your concern and await a reply. Because we are grateful for the work that you share with us and will be happy to fix any problem as best we can.

We love artists and writers and all that they create. That’s why we spend our free time and money to make The Bitchin’ Kitsch every month.

We also do it because it is fun and doesn’t feel like work. Please don’t turn it into mine.